We frequently hear the statement “children are our future”. That comment is bigger than a lot of us realize. So many things can be attached to having a child and women and men have their own reasons for wanting or not wanting a baby.
Having a child should be a blessing that both parties are desirous of and ready for. That means planning and knowing your current conditions. This includes relationship stability, financial stability, and health, both physical and mental. All of these components are important because if any of them are not where they should be, then the chances for a successful child rearing outcome can be negatively impacted.
In relationships, far too often someone is trying to bind a person to them by having a baby and believing that the child will force a person to remain in the relationship. Whenever this is used as a reason for having a child, you’re already fighting an uphill battle. A baby should never be born with the job of keeping two parties together. Whatever problems existed prior to the birth of the child will still exist and most likely become worse. Now the baby only becomes a burden in the relationship.
When a couple is already struggling financially, the additional expense of childbirth and child-rearing increases monetary needs and only puts more strain on relationship stability. Even if you are not in a situation where you are struggling financially, will an additional mouth to feed push you into this position or will it cause emotional or time restraints on a relationship that you just can’t push past? Not having enough income or time to raise a child can lead to emotional and financial stressors that in turn can cause hardships, violence and social service involvement.
All of the conditions that have been mentioned above are far too common in our society today, especially when you consider all the available information we have that can be put to good use prior to a pregnancy. We all have access to information on the cost of healthcare, child-rearing, relationship issues, etc. If you choose not to read the information then you only need to turn on the television and see the family destruction.
If children are supposed to be our future, just how far are we looking into the future? How many times do we see young men refusing to do anything for his child? How many times do we hear a young lady state “I just wanted to have his baby” while not taking into consideration how the young man feels or what their future plans will be when it comes to the joint parenting of the child? Babies are innocent, important and very expensive. They need attention from both parents, not one using the baby to get back at the other, or controlling how much time is given based on how much money is paid.
A baby should not be born with the job of keeping a relationship together or coercing someone to be in your life, filling a void, getting financial support from someone, or creating someone you feel will love you unconditionally. It’s not fair for anyone to be pushed straight from the womb and immediately into the work place. I think when two people agree to have a child they should have a well thought out plan and the goal should be to make the child safe and happy!
With the number of abused and abandoned babies being on the rise, I guess babies are not doing their JOBS!
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