What you think and how you behave is always a choice . . . . It’s just that simple. When we allow anger to direct our steps, who is really the problem? The person who you are angry at or you? Anger can distort your thinking and change your values. Hanging onto anger can change who you are as a person.
Think about when you’ve become angry. What or who did it involve? What feelings did you experience that caused you to become angry? Were your hurt, embarrassed, disappointed, or felt betrayed? Were you able to express how you felt or did you simply express anger, which is the secondary emotion?
Emotional intelligence, which is the key to understanding yourself, helps you to recognize that you are responsible for your negative thoughts. When you understand that you are responsible for your thoughts, you can change them anytime you want.
During most of your lifetime, you are going to have very little control over the people around you or things that occur in your day to day life, including your own personal environment. Your goal is to have influence rather than control. Influence can be given to you based on your positive behavior. Control is usually gained through fear. Controlling a person through fear will only be successful temporarily. The cost to you can be permanent.