Finding You

How often do you think about yourself and who or what you are about as a person? Think about what makes you tick, what moves you to the good or bad side of things and how you feel about yourself overall. Do you have more good moments than bad moments and are you disgruntled and argumentative more than pleasant and cooperative? When you are mean to other people, is it a reflection of something deeper taking place inside of you? Getting to know who you are can be scary to some, but liberating for others. What if it turns out that you don’t like the person you are or have become over time? You can’t divorce, move away from you, or even end the friendship. So what exactly can you do about it?

Now that you’re engaged, here comes the really honest part. Is the person you present to the world truly who you are comfortable being or is it who those around you expect you to be? Take an assessment of how you feel about the people in your life. Do family members, friends or co-workers cause you to feel or exhibit anger or agitation? Have you thought about why others can have such an impact on you? Have the words or actions of someone in your life, past or present caused you to feel hurt, jealous, angry, or not good enough? Take some time to explore those emotions and what may have taken place with you that allowed you to feel that way. Only think about you, not the person you felt was responsible for making you feel that way.

When you practice connecting with your inner feelings you become more in tune with how stress, loneliness, feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, etc. can affect your mood or attitude towards things or people. If you know what’s going on with you, you can better understand and deal with what’s going on around you.

Your angry moments are probably your worst moments even if you don’t recognize how damaging those moments can be. If we’re not paying attention to the inner thoughts, we will not be prepared to see our behavior as contributing to some very ugly outcomes. Reflect on the relationships within the home or an existing conflict among family members. Typically, someone has said or done something that was part of an issue that may have gone back and forth. Think about yourself without focusing on the other parties involved in the issues. What is your contribution to the conflict? Are you being fair or are you being moved by something within you that you have yet to explore? Please only consider how you can do better; you have no control over the actions of others or how they are going to feel. We can share or deny our feelings and it still would not change the emotional reaction of certain people. There are so many factors that can negatively impact our attitudes and when it occurs we must be prepared to see ourselves, our thoughts and control them.

After you finish this article take a few moments to relax, close your eyes and reflect on how you’ve been feeling this week. Reflect on any negative feelings you had and if it’s something that occurs frequently or seldom. How long did your feeling last and how much of a contributor do you think you were to what caused the negative feelings? Did the feelings dissipate because handled them or you forgot them? When the same thing occurs next week, do you think that you will be better able to handle it?